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Celebration Time Self-Esteem: How Important Can It Be
So you do wonder why the reaction to someone you accidentally stepped on as you rustled through a crowd on the high street was a punch or a rain of abuse? Read on. I wondered for years. To a point that I felt like repaying such people with their own coin, but is it worth it? What do I gain by doing so and what do I lose by not doing so? The answer is nothing. I do not have to be a sociologist or psychologist to know that someone who behaves inappropriately occasionally or constantly has a lot on their plate. How they handle that situation though, is what interests me at this moment. Would I expect an individual who has constantly been told s/he will amount to nothing to have a high esteem of him/her self to react any better? Maybe not. If someone does not value what they have, they are not likely to value what other people have. On the other hand, they are likely to find every excuse to think you are aware of their shortcomings and failures, therefore have trained themselves to be on the defensive. Are you aware of how vital the words of your mouth are and the impact they might have forever on those you come across? If you do what will you do differently? One day I was in a secondary school to teach a few 11-12 year olds. As they were very few in the class I saw it as a bonus but how wrong could I be. I watched as they all came in to take their seats, what caught my eye straight away was that they all sat at the back. I began to think instantly what might be the problem. These are young children who should be keen at learning, particularly when we talk about English: sentence constructing, mind mapping, paper cutting, a river of imagination and creativity. Sadly, the reverse was the case, they switched off. Astonishingly, I realised I had lost these little ones that seemed so tender and full of potential. At a point I knew I needed to get them on board so I said something like, ‘come on guys you can do it.’ The response of one girl who was bold enough to speak for the others was, ‘we are thick Miss, we don’t know anything, Miss Xyz said so,’ that response hit me like a hammer. Even though it happened many years it seemed as if it were yesterday, as that is how fresh it is in my mind. I knew I needed to refute it straight away as I was furious at the unknown person, but at the same time concerned about the future of these young ones. I asked them all to look at me, pointing to them one by one I said, ‘what Miss Xyz said is not true.’ Do you think I was right to say so? I do not know what might have happened to those pupils after the two weeks I was with them but I know I did not let that false notion stay in their minds and if anybody says that around me, I will be quick to refute it again. Society tends to create stigmas and label us based on how we look, what we wear how we talk and what we can do or cannot do. Do you know what you say to people goes straight into their mind streams and stays there for a very long time until maybe there is something else to counteract that notion. That tells me that the words of my mouth are vital. It shapes, breaks or re-defines, in short, it builds or tears apart someone’s self esteem. So, the next time you come across an unusual or mind blowing situation remember the words that leap out from your heart can contribute to the hearers downfall or success.
Self esteem is a vital part of our existence, differentiating between success and failure. Having a high proportion of it can put you straight at the top of the ladder, an average amount can help you to get by on a daily basis but having none of it at all is worrying as it can lead to very disastrous situations. I never had a definition for self esteem, I just know when I had it and when I didn’t have it and I know the difference it has made in my life. I suppose there will be times when we all feel a bit low due to an unsuccessful examination, a failure of a project or a collapse of an event or activity. Nevertheless, you do not have to let it hit so hard to a point that you think you have come to the end of the road. A positive attitude is vital when the unexpected happens. It could be in your job, in your business, in relationships or anything at all. I am aware, [and trust me I have been there] that because of where your peers are in life you see yourself a failure at times therefore, want to throw in the towel, but is it worth the hassle? Just because you missed the mark once does not mean that is how it will always be. Being rejected or having an offer turned down does not mean you cannot find someone who is interested in what you have to offer. Your business being hit hard by recession or your websites or blogs not being clicked on does not have anything to do with your personality. Cultivate the idea of imbibing a positive attitude at all times. Look at the success you have made previously, ponder on how you strategized then, hang in there and try to do it again. Do not get bogged down with failure, and refuse to be in an environment where everyone is talking about failure as against success. Thinking positively leads to success. At times when things are unexpected and the heart weakens it could still be acceptable that one thinks it is all over, what I believe we all need to work on is accepting defeat even before you are being defeated. The other day I was telling my students about what would be required to progress to another level and a few boys were looking around at those they believed in their heart could get the required grade and had written themselves off. I tried to encourage them not to condescend so low, instead they should rise to the challenge and believe in themselves that they could do it by determining to do so. I refuted the idea or impression an uncle had about me when he told my parents I am not fit for university. He constantly paraded me as a failure to relatives which left me with a degree of low self esteem but I had to make a choice, to accept defeat or rise to the challenge. I chose the latter and in a few years after that time I was on my way to university to do what I believe I was capable of doing. Thinking positively leads to success. Read testimonies of successful people, listen to inspirational messages or presentations. The Bible is an inspirational book full of individuals who acquired wisdom from the Lord [Exodus chapter 36]is an example. Have you ever wondered how Joshua could lead the Israelites successfully? Joshua chapter 1 instructs that we ‘meditate’ on God's word. The phrase that has stood out for me is, ‘Recite it by day and by night that you may observe carefully all that is written in it; then you will successfully attain your goal.’ [NLT] A King James Version of that same verse says, ‘…then thou shalt have good success’ Joshua 1:8. about to change. All you need to do is substitute your negative attitude for a positive one read the scriptures and receive wisdom from the Lord then pick up yourself again having the watchword, ‘I can do it.' It will not be long before your heart of heaviness is replaced with a heart of gladness and with a garment of praise you will be ready to celebrate your self esteem that has brought you into a successful place of no return.
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