Family Unit

Welcome To Family Unit

If there is anything the Lord is interested in, the family is one of them.    

A Great Teenager

It was in a class one afternoon a few years back with a bunch of teenagers. I cannot 

remember the issue we were discussing but I have not forgotten what one of them 

said to me that day. 'A teenager, trusting a teenager. never trust a teenager.' I was 

taken aback by what the young girl said and my thought was, does it mean teenagers 

don't believe in themselves and have to find a way of deceiving others to get by or it is 

just a spur of the moment thing and with time the life of an adolescent would change.

I still wonder and ponder over that phrase but I do not think it to be the case in thousands

 and millions of teenagers. I sense teenagers want adults they deal with on a daily basis

 to believe what they say and to believe in them. I remember still, as a teenager I wanted 

my parents to have a different image about me. I didn't really know so much of what 

they thought about me at the time, but I was sure I had heard them  times without end 

say I was obstinate and had a mind of my own.It was in a class one afternoon a few 

years back with a bunch of teenagers. I cannot remember the issue we were discussing

On many instances my father had wanted me to be like one of my siblings in particular 

and constantly stood me up beside her comparing me to her as he couldn't understand 

why I was not like her.

Many at times as parents we tend to do that: 'Why are you not like your brother?' or 

'xyz used to behave differently.' If we are aware of the dangers these cause for the 

family we certainly would not be doing it. As we do, there is a need to know that it 

does affect teenagers and it could either go the way you want it to go or totally the 

opposite of what one expects. What amazes me the most is that what parents think 

about their teenagers on some occasions are totally assumptions. 

What Can Parents do

Are you concerned about your adolescent? Why not have a conversation with him 

or her? Find a suitable avenue to ask reasonable and genuine questions. 

Let him/her know that you really want to know what they are thinking, what 

are their views and aspirations and what they percieve about your conclusions 

about them. By so doing, it might be possible the gap of misunderstanding
could be bridged and you'll be able to save yourself of unnecessary worries and 

allow your teen to be assured that they could be trusted. 

A Celebration of True Love            

"We know that real love is because Jesus gave up His life for us.

 So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters." 

I John 3:16

For a few days now I have been thinking about Love. Love that supersedes any 

other love, the love of Christ. Has Easter ever caught you unawares? The 

adverts and displays are there in the department stores and supermarkets to keep 

us on track but have you ever thought about the importance of Easter?

This week I thought about the sacrifice Christ was prepared to and did go through 

for me. Is there anyother way love can be demonstrated? He went through pain 

and shame on my behalf. Not many of us are willing to do that these days. Even 

if we do, we want to ensure we are praised for our effort and sacrifice.

Give it a thought how many times have you publicised the sacrifice Christ made 

on your behalf? Have you constantly celebrated what He has done for you, by 

shedding His blood on the cross.

Celebrating the resurrection of Christ should not be limited to Easter alone or just 

on Sunday celebrations at church. Everyday, look at one thing Christ has done for 

you, your family and give him praise. 

This Easter think about just one thing Christ has done for you and your family. 

Maybe it is a promotion, an open door of any kind, a successful outcome of 

something that has scared the life out of you, even those things you consider 

miniscule. As you consider them, give the Lord praise, sing a song, play some 

music, if you are the type, make some movements with your body and give God 

all the glory. There has been no successful outcome without some sort of pain 

so remember, even though you do not feel like it, the pain you might be 

experiencing today is about to be over., As the Lord Jesus resurrected on 

the third day, so shall everything that is dead in your life shall receive life in the 

name of Jesus and become new. Amen.

If you have been blessed by this article, you could browse around the site for more, 

particularly the weekly digests where you can be sure to have a new message 

awaiting you weekly.

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What do you consider a family to be?       
                                                             

Does it include the nuclear family alone or does it include the extended family too?                                  

Fathers, mothers, grandparents, uncles and aunts all have a vital role to play when it 

comes to bringing up, or encouraging our young ones particularly in this digital age. 

Much more other people could be part of a family too, which could include you. 

The many gadgets we have at our disposal have numerous positive effects but the 

negative ones could be alarming too if we do nothing about it.

The Scripture asks us to train up a child in the way to go so that the 

child would not deviate from it as they grow up. What can we do?    

We all need to get involved; to have a 'family time', a time when 

members of your household all come together and spend quality 

time together.

Does your home have a family time? It is not too late to start it now if it 

does not exist. Bring everyone in the family together and share jokes, 

play games and just 'chill'. If the need be, switch the television and 

computer off and let it be a 'no ipod', 'no mobile' time. Design 

programmes that suit your own 'family time’ and get everyone 

involved. By doing this, you are aiming to keep your family together, 

building confidence and trust among each other.  

As children of God, each home, every family is important to God and He commits

many things to every home that we are responsible for. What you are made 

responsible for is likely to be different from what my family is responsible for; 

nevertheless, there are some common things that is assigned to all of us, for 

example, 'Train your child...' 

One of the challenges numerous families are facing today is the issue of what 

our young people do, what they don't do and how they do what they do. I am sure 

you understand what I mean, teenagers are always talked about in every home 

where they are present, what we haven't worked out is what is our responsibility 

towards our teens? What do we do or how do we present ourselves to be role models 

to them? 

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Essential Tips To Help Your Teenage Son Keep His Underpants On.

It is vital to know that boys in particular need to have an avenue to channel 

their emotions. What does your son do? Does he go to school come back home and 

get glued to the television, computer, Xbox or PSP and any other gadget of its kind?

 If you respond to this in the affirmative, he is one of the ‘at risk’ ones.

Boys, I have found crave for affection from their parents just as much or even more 

than girls. But we tend to dismiss them so quickly. Even when they cry or sulk you 

here parents say, ‘don’t cry you are a boy.’ Boys tend to be denied love too early 

which makes them go after girls because they still want to cuddle up with someone 

who is willing to let them. They want a girlfriend not because they really know what 

love is themselves but because they need someone to hold them, hug them and 

make them feel ‘soft’ and ‘gentle’. If however, they are at the stage of puberty, 

sexual desires creep in and as they have always learnt to suppress their feelings, 

they feel the urge to dispense now and see no reason why not.

Discussing with a few girls recently they informed me how much pressure the boys put 

on them and if they refuse, the friendship is over. To be honest that saddened my heart. 

The girls were between sixteen and seventeen. In schools sex is mentioned to a child at 

about the age of ten but many parents are guilty of never mentioning a word about sex 

to their sons even at sixteen. Who do you expect to tell him or much more guide him if it 

is not you? From all your son sees and hears he is already yearning to know what this 

‘hush hush’ topic is all about so raising the subject will give him appropriate guidance 

and you a peace of mind.

A major influence in the life of teenagers is peer pressure. Those who have had sex with

 their girlfriends tend to boast about it, not because what they did is right but 

because they do not want to be condemned by the others; as a result making the 

others feel out of touch and awkward by still being virgins. So it is up to you to help 

your son by encouraging him to maintain his integrity.  

Boys persuade girls to give in to their desires, if she refuses he says she doesn’t love

 him, but when she gives in he wants more and more. It is up to you mummy and 

daddy to guide your son. First, demonstrate true love to him then encourage him to 

burn his energy elsewhere so as to keep his underpants on, by signing up at a football 

pitch, basket ball pitch, in a pool swimming or on the tracks running. He could play 

the guitar or other instruments, if not, involve him in what you do especially if you have 

a business of your own.

Do not assume that your son wants to be love free because he behaves as if he could 

not care less. Such ones are those who really yearn for love. Make out time to talk with 

your son, so you know his thoughts and feelings. It might be easy if you have developed 

a rapport with your son but if this is what you just have to initiate, this is a good starting 

point. Maybe he always locks himself in his room, try and get him to spend more time 

with the other members of the family in the lounge. Maybe everyone in your household 

stay apart anyway, it is a good way of bringing them all together. You can save your 

son and yourself from bitter repercussions by starting today with no delay.

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Tips to Help Your Teenage Daughter Keep Her Underclothing On

A cause for concern for many teenage parents, if you haven’t already dismissed the issue 

saying, ‘it does not bother me’, even though you know it is one of your major concerns. 

It is usually the girl who gets the brunt of it all, mainly as she has to bear the 

‘keeping appearances’ by carrying the baby, going through an abortion [if that is your stand] 

and/or being looked down upon by society. At times some parents have to face the music 

too as it does [no matter how minuscule] disrupt plans and aspirations and at times the 

‘family image’ if nothing else.

It is unfortunate most of the time we hear, ‘teenage pregnancy’ and become judgemental, 

‘wayward child’ some of us think, others might say, ‘a loose child’ and so on. Has it ever 

occurred to you that such ideas of yours are not necessarily the case, especially to a

 mother or father? I have heard a mother say, ‘my innocent daughter.’ You grin at that phrase

and question how she could be innocent if she has fallen pregnant.

You want to know why?

These daughters, who have been devastated by getting pregnant unexpectedly, have been 

brought up to experience affection from their mothers, fathers, brothers and relations who 

have been part of their growing up. However, as the beautiful daughter needs to grow up in 

the eyes of her parents or she has chosen to grow up, so many things have been taken for 

granted. 

For instance, mum or dad assumes their daughter does not need their affection anymore, 

therefore tries to let them spend so much time with their [boyfriend] if it is the norm for 

them to have boyfriends, thinking they have discarded their own love and need to get it 

somewhere else. 

This has happened so many times and parents have been heartbroken times without 

number as neither they nor their daughters are having that close affinity they used to have. 

The parents not wanting to offend the daughter do not ask questions and the daughter 

thinking her parents expect her to grow up do not bother to share her experience with 

them. An over sight on the part of many parents is that girls, no matter the age 

constantly want affection; they want to be assured they are loved and are ‘special’

 irrespective of the number of children you have.
 
A girl who broke up with her boyfriend in December was still devastated in January 

finding it difficult to concentrate. By the following week she had a new lover. I couldn’t 

stop myself, ‘is it all over so quickly?’ I enquired. Her response not quoted here verbatim 

is that she needs to have love in her life. I am talking about an eighteen year old who 

lives with her parents. I can not answer the question to whether it is just to have a 

boyfriend or a lover because I did not ask further. What are we doing to our daughters? 

All the kisses and hugs she used to receive? If parents stop giving she will have to seek 

that affection somewhere else. 

On many instances I have realised that young ladies, who have had a good rapport 

with their parents particularly their fathers, do not elope or do silly things with their boyfriends 

or any other man for that matter. On many instances they confide in their parents and are 

protected from danger. Offer to give your daughter a ride to and from her date; be a good 

listener; not a talker but observer. When she is in trouble she will call you and she will be 

the first one to ask you what to do if anyone is putting pressure on her. Don’t evade her 

space but hang around her heart let her know you still love her and even though she is now 

as big as you are let her be assured you still love her. 

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